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Which is correct: me and my wife or my wife and me? The sentence in which this is used is

Ms. Smith informed me and my wife that she was afraid of being accosted.

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2 Answers 2

Both are correct, you can use any of them. They don't even bear any difference. The same would apply to:

I and my wife were informed that ...

versus

My wife and I were informed that ...

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3  
@Urbycoz: what if it's a lesbian marriage and "I" is also refering to a woman? then the lady is first :D –  RiMMER Nov 15 '11 at 16:14
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@Urbycoz: Polite not so much to put ladies first as to put other people first. –  Barrie England Nov 15 '11 at 16:43
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@BarrieEngland: I don't think I agree with that. You're saying that "Ms. Smith informed I that ..." is correct. And it obviously isn't. –  RiMMER Nov 15 '11 at 16:48
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@DavidSchwartz: but then you'd have no way to write the sentence at all. ("Me are pleased" wouldn't be any better.) The point is that this position in the sentence requires a subject ("I") rather than an object ("me"). –  Alex Nov 15 '11 at 17:57
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"I" is used for a subject; "me" is used for an object. I am not aware of any grammar rule that says that making something plural changes it from a subject to an object or vice versa. "My wife and I am pleased" is incorrect because "my wife and I" is plural and thus calls for a plural verb. The fact that a singular verb does not go with a plural noun does not in any way negate the fact that the subjective case should be used for subjects and the objective case for objects. –  Jay Nov 15 '11 at 19:45

According to Grammar Girl, it's "a rule of politeness" to put yourself last in the list:

Ms. Smith informed my wife and me that...

General Writing and Grammar help concurs, but does not offer any additional authorities on the matter.

edit: The Merriam-Webster Learner's Dictionary offers the same advice: third-person, then second-person, finally first-person pronouns for general usage; mixing up the order is not necessarily rude, but can serve to emphasize the role of the speaker in the action, or as a cue that the speaker is talking informally or is less-educated.

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This is a great find, upvoting. –  RiMMER Nov 15 '11 at 16:22
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And yet for this sentence, putting "me" second sounds rather awkward... –  Izkata Nov 15 '11 at 20:39
    
This is how I've always heard it explained. Might be a politeness thing more than a hard rule though. –  Ben Brocka Nov 15 '11 at 21:37

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