Take the 2-minute tour ×
English Language & Usage Stack Exchange is a question and answer site for linguists, etymologists, and serious English language enthusiasts. It's 100% free, no registration required.

Following Martha's advise I am splitting up a question Compound sentences, the punctuation and mooore.

Consider the following sentence:

One of the items that needed a further development was a research on child nodes of a story representing its sub categories being updated the moment the list of sub categories is changed through edit page for stories.

While I indeed wanted to practice compound sentences (see a question Constructing compound sentences), another reason why this sentence is so complex is that I don't know how to split it into smaller parts. Could you help me with it?

If you need the context please read a post from the second link.

share|improve this question
add comment

3 Answers

up vote 2 down vote accepted

I am not a native speaker, so there will sure be mistakes, but I would write:

One of the items that needed more work was research on story child nodes updating. The child nodes represent story sub categories and should be automatically updated when the list of sub categories is changed on the story edit page.

share|improve this answer
    
This looks nice! Although I have doubts about the expression "story child nodes updating". It lacks of prepositions for sure in my opinion. But the second sentence is perfect! –  Eugene Strizhok Oct 27 '10 at 13:52
    
@Eugene, what do you mean here by 'research' and 'story'? I'm guessing synonyms would make more sense there, but I don't know which to go for without more information. –  Ophiuroid Oct 27 '10 at 14:14
    
@Ophiuroid: The research here is just a process of investigation on something. A story is a term from a domain model, which should not be substituted with a synonym. –  Eugene Strizhok Oct 27 '10 at 19:23
    
@Ophiuroid: Could you please explain why the noun research doesn't have to be preceded with an article? –  Eugene Strizhok Oct 27 '10 at 19:27
    
@Eugene Strizhok: In that case, if something needs more work, isn't it clear that it needs more investigation? The sentence could be simplified to "One of the items that needed more work was the updating of story child-nodes." –  Ophiuroid Oct 28 '10 at 13:48
show 2 more comments

An answer is already accepted, but let me try:

One item that needed further development was updating the child nodes of a story. These nodes, representing the story's subcategories, must be updated the moment the list of subcategories is changed via the edit page for stories.

share|improve this answer
    
Nicely phrased! I would replace "must" with "should" though. –  Eugene Strizhok Oct 27 '10 at 19:25
add comment

Let me give it a try:

One of the items that needed further development was research on child node behavior.

Child nodes are defined as follows: a story has sub-categories, and these categories are displayed as child nodes.

Should these child nodes get updated when the list of subcategories is changed?

Should this happen whenever a story is changed using the Edit page?

Or even:

I needed to further research child node update behavior.

Child nodes are used to display the subcategories of a story.

Should they be updated whenever the list of subcategories changes as a story is edited using the Edit page?

Or maybe you want to express this:

I needed to further research child node update behavior.

Child nodes are used to display the subcategories of a story.

My question was: should they be updated whenever the list of subcategories changes as a story is edited using the Edit page?

share|improve this answer
    
No, I don't think any of these convey the meaning correctly. By this sentence I wanted to remind of research and to recall its purpose. It in no way means that the described update mechanism exist. So I can't see why you are talking about it in the Present Simple. –  Eugene Strizhok Oct 27 '10 at 13:48
    
@Eugene - OK, so there is hidden meaning in your sentence that is not clearly conveyed. I try to include your comment. –  malach Oct 27 '10 at 13:53
add comment

Your Answer

 
discard

By posting your answer, you agree to the privacy policy and terms of service.

Not the answer you're looking for? Browse other questions tagged or ask your own question.