Expressions or idioms that mean killing appropriate for use in a humorous context [closed]

Question

I'm looking for expressions or idioms that sound funny/unusual and mean killing something. For example, I remember when I was playing Starcraft, there was a mission in which my marines had to kill some creature. At the end of the mission, they said that they eighty-sixed that creature. To me, that sounded funny, but I don't know how it sounds for native speakers.

Answer 1

We used to laugh uncontrollably when threatened by our Gym instructor with, "I'll tear off your right-arm and beat you to death with the bloody stump."

Now that I think of it…

Answer 2

There are a lot of jokey euphemistic expressions synonymous with dying, and the Monty Python dead parrot sketch provides quite a few. Here are some more: List of expressions related to death.

You asked however specifically about killing. Honestly there aren't many jokey slang terms for this, probably because most people are unlikely to be flippant about taking someone's life. I don't really find "eighty six" especially funny, just a bit weird.

Most of the slang I can think of is the sort of stuff you'd hear in old mob movies, where a hitman is reporting on a murder. Examples: "I did him", "I did him in", "I dusted him", "I iced him", "I offed him", "I smoked him", "I whacked him".

From a newer genre of crime movies (e.g. Pulp Fiction) you'll hear stuff like "I popped a cap in his ass" meaning "I shot him to death".

Slightly more poetic are "I sent him down to Davy Jones" or "He sleeps with the fishes", both of which refer to killing someone by drowning, or at least disposing of a murder victim in water.

Answer 3

While not precisely to the point, you can't do better than Monty Python It's resting.