What is the origin of “Couldn't hit a cow's arse with a banjo”?

Question

This picturesque expression, meaning 'not a very good shot with a rifle' or (of a footballer) unable to score any goals, has cropped up a few times recently in my reading. Does anyone know where it originated?

Answer 1

I believe it is an Irish slang phrase.

You couldn't hit a cow's arse with a banjo (phr): bad aim, woeful hurler/darts player/soccer player etc.

Below are some Google findings which make me think this way:

• Dublin Slang
• Everyday English and slang in Ireland
• BBC - Northern Ireland - Voices
• Irish Vocabulary, Everyday English and Slang on Irish Celtic Jewels
• Everyday English and Slang in Ireland (scribd.com)

I also came accross an interesting forum thread which mentions this phrase. Here is an excerpt:

Jackie Milburn: - My dad used to say "son, yer couldn't hit a cow's arse with a shovel"

Juande the Spurrier: - There is a shovel that is called a banjo, because it's shaped like the musical instrument. Seems a farmer might be more likely to have a shovel than a banjo.

With further research, I found out that banjo is a shovel type indeed.

Banjo (as a shovel):

Banjo (as a musical instrument):

Answer 2

I hail from the Highlands of Scotland and this phrase has been in common use throughout my life. It was a favourite of my dad's. I'm 56 now so it's been around at least since the 1950s. Though, I must point out that, in front of my mum he always used the form backside rather than arse.

Answer 3

• During the Congo Crisis Mike Hoare organised and led two separate mercenary groups (1960–1961, and 1964) and wrote about it in his 1967 Congo Mercenary:

One of my young recruits amused me one day when I heard him exclaim to an old sweat who had missed the target completely, "Garn, you couldn't hit a cow's arse with a banjo!"

• Robert Smith's 1947 Baseball: a historical narrative of the game, the men who have played it, and its place in American life says:

The only man left on the bench was Colcolough, who, some fans whispered, couldn't hit a bull on the backside with a shovel. He certainly couldn't hit today, for he struck out to end the game.

• Eugene V. Connett and Edgar Burke's 1947 Duck Shooting Along the Atlantic Tidewater:

One gem was a confession by Chick Welles, who said, "I don't know what ailed me today — I just couldn't hit a cow in the behind with a snow shovel."

• A circa 1947 Archery, Volumes 19-21:

I couldn't hit a bull in the broadside with a scoop shovel. Ever."

• John Cherry Monks' 1945 A ribbon and a star: the Third marines at Bougainville:

All of a sudden courageous, he called after the departing planes: "You couldn't hit the broad side of a bull's ass with a spade, you slant-eyed bastard!

• Francis van Wyck Mason's 1942 Rivers of glory

"You dumb bastards couldn't hit a blind ox on the rump with a scoop shovel." Andrew standing taut behind the wheel felt aghast. Three clean misses and the time lost was irretrievable. He tried to inject cool confidence into his command ...

• A 1939 Collier's, Volume 104:

Leo was along in years s ballplayers went; he couldn't hit the ide of an elephant with a banjo

A 1936 Blackwood's magazine:

At last Big Jim had refused to provide further ammunition, saying crudely, " Y' couldn't hit a cow's back with a shovel."

There are plenty of other early examples of things people can't hit with a banjo/shovel/spade, quite common are elephants, balloons, barn doors and nails.

Answer 4

Using Google's daterange feature, I did a search for pages dated 2000 to 2003 [1], and found the earliest verifiable mention of this phrase in a story in The Independent called My Side By David Beckham with Tom Watt dated 3 October 2003:

in a league where half the native players, to quote Dave Bassett, couldn't hit a cow's arse with a banjo

Google finds no mention of this phrase from 1970 to 2000 [2].

With more time and more refined searches you may be able to find earlier mentions of this phrase.

Technical note: I used http://www.onlineconversion.com/julian_date.htm to convert Georgian to Julian dates:

[1] http://www.google.co.uk/search?q=Couldn%27t+hit+a+cow%27s+arse+with+a+banjo+daterange:2451804-2452899

[2] http://www.google.co.uk/search?q=Couldn%27t+hit+a+cow%27s+arse+with+a+banjo+daterange:2451804-2452899