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My supervisor in Japan is currently translating my CV from English into Japanese, however she has asked me to reword one sentence (in English) as to her its meaning is not what I intended it to be. The sentence reads:

"Researched into the design of a Formula 1 car simulator including both the aesthetics and hardware, focusing on improving upon the main competitor’s designs."

The point in question here is the use of "improving upon". She has told me it sounds like I'm improving on the competitor's design, as opposed to bettering the design of my own company.

How can I reword this to have the intended meaning?

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  • You could invert it to make the meaning clearer: "focusing on designs which improve upon the main competitor's".
    – John Clifford
    Feb 11, 2016 at 10:34
  • It is a somewhat moot point. It seems to me you are indeed trying to improve upon the competitor's designs. It may help simply to substitute bettering for improving. ...bettering the main competitor's designs. But a lot may depend on how these words translate into Japanese. I did once live and work there and have read enough English translations of Japanese instruction manuals to know what a fraught subject it can be.
    – WS2
    Feb 11, 2016 at 11:29
  • One of the reasons Japan, in the early phase of industrialisation, was successful, I feel sure, was that it was virtually impossible to enforce patents worded in English - so capricious were the rules of translation.
    – WS2
    Feb 11, 2016 at 11:38

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"Researched into the design of a Formula 1 car simulator including both the aesthetics and hardware, focusing on improving upon the main competitor’s designs." I am amused. The Japanese missed your designs! Please see the following from Oxford dictionary. The word DESIGNS has dishonest connotations as you shall see from what is given below. Say ......" main competitor’s design."

" have designs on 2 Aim to obtain (something desired), typically in a secret and dishonest way: he suspected her of having designs on the family fortune More example sentences

    He emerged as sole leader of the opposition in 1263, but his position had weakened, for many magnates suspected him of having designs on the throne.
    We still have designs on taking that third spot and qualifying for Europe.
    The only way to avoid deaths on such a grand scale is to ensure someone who has designs on power are dealt with in the strictest manner at the earliest opportunity.
    Get more examples"

[2] Now let the sentence be written as follows.

"Researched into the design of a Formula 1 car simulator including both the aesthetics and hardware, focusing on ERADICATION OF SHORTFALLS IN the main competitor’s designs." Hope you are satisfied. I request the site to send me feed backs from the actual users of our service/ advice.

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