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Please help me with next:

Which kind of sentence is more correct:

a. We decided to present you Jim, Department Manager of Sam, as a contact person for ...

b. We decided to present you Jim, Department Manager which employs Sam, as a contact person for ...

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Could you provide some more context for this? –  Steve Melnikoff Sep 8 '10 at 14:20
    
For example: We'd like introduce some person to another person. –  misho Sep 8 '10 at 14:26
    
Also the relative which shouldn't be used for animate, especially human things. Use who here instead. –  Charlie Sep 9 '10 at 8:12
    
@itrekkie: thanks! –  misho Sep 9 '10 at 9:54
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1 Answer 1

up vote 7 down vote accepted

Neither of those sentences sounds quite right.

If I've understood correctly, perhaps something like this might be appropriate:

We've decided to appoint you, Jim, as a contact person for Sam, given that you're his department manager.

EDIT: The questioner has clarified that the context is introducing one person to another. In that case, perhaps this would be appropriate:

This is Jim, Sam's department manager. He'll be the contact for X.

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Agreed. Shorter sentences are almost always better in business situations, where clarity is more important than quality prose. –  Armstrongest Sep 8 '10 at 16:26
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