Take the 2-minute tour ×
English Language & Usage Stack Exchange is a question and answer site for linguists, etymologists, and serious English language enthusiasts. It's 100% free, no registration required.

Touché on modify the joke to serve your best interest, although it'd probably lose its luster as you'd be disregarding traditionally Jewish stereotypes.

Is this sentence grammatically correct? Please elaborate.

share|improve this question
1  
Your question as it stands is off topic. Is there a particular part of the quote with which you are struggling? What do you think might be wrong? –  snumpy May 18 '11 at 17:27
    
I hate to be a bother, but this question is very unclear. What is exactly your problem? Explain your problem, your doubts and your needs in depth. EDIT: Oh Snumpy beat me to it :) –  Alenanno May 18 '11 at 17:29
    
Is this sentence correct as it's written? My concern is with "although" clause –  Anderson Silva May 18 '11 at 17:33
    
Can you clarify how the title relates to the body of the question? –  Steve Melnikoff May 18 '11 at 23:11

2 Answers 2

up vote 4 down vote accepted

Touché on modifying the joke to serve your best interest, although it'd probably lose its luster as you'd be disregarding traditional Jewish stereotypes.

This should be the corrected version, imo.

EDIT to answer further questions as asked in the comments:

  1. Why comma? Well, you cannot have touché on modify a joke, that doesn't work at all. You need to start with touché on modifying a joke, but still, I think connecting them with a comma is a lot more dramatic, simpler and easier to understand.

  2. Why traditional? Well, because it's traditional stereotypes, not traditionally stereotypes, that doesn't work at all. It could be traditionally good stereotypes, but certainly not traditionally Jewish stereotypes.

share|improve this answer
    
Ooh, good catch on the traditional — I missed that in my answer! –  PLL May 18 '11 at 17:41
    
why traditional? why comma? –  Anderson Silva May 18 '11 at 17:42
    
I think that original quotation would stand if you added quotes: Touche' on "modifying the joke to serve your best interest", although ... traditional Jewish stereotypes. The quotes because they would reference the phrase that 'hit', but traditional Jewish stereotypes because they are traditional stereotypes of Jewish people, not stereotypes that are held by Jewish people traditionally. (If I interpret the sentence correctly.) –  KitFox May 18 '11 at 18:05
    
I don't think your version is grammatically correct. The modifying clause lacks a finite verb. –  Cerberus May 18 '11 at 18:34
1  
@RiMMER: OK, edited and up-voted! –  Cerberus May 18 '11 at 18:57

One simple error: it should begin

Touché on modifying the joke…

since on here needs to be followed by a noun phrase, and so the verb modify must be used in its gerund form modifying.

More debatably, I would suggest using simple past tense rather than conditional forms:

…it probably loses some luster, since you’re disregarding…

since the beginning suggests that someone has already modified the joke. It’d probably lose and you’d be disregarding are more natural if the modification is still hypothetical, in a context like:

Don’t modify the joke; it’d probably lose some luster…

So depending on context — is the modification definitely made, or still somewhat in question? — the simple past forms might be more appropriate, or the original conditional forms.

Edit: as Rimmer’s answer points out, it should also be traditional Jewish stereotypes, not traditionally, since traditional here is describing the stereotypes themselves, not the sense in which they’re Jewish.

share|improve this answer
1  
+1. I think traditionally is still possible; a somewhat awkward example: How is this stereotype Jewish? The word "glitch" is hardly felt to be Jewish any more. — Saying "glitch" all the time is traditionally a Jewish stereotype, though I suppose it is now quite current among goyim as well. But I agree that traditional Jewish joke is probably much better here. –  Cerberus May 18 '11 at 18:41
    
@Cerberus: completely agreed. I only meant to suggest that in this context it should probably be traditional, not that traditionally is grammatically wrong. –  PLL May 18 '11 at 23:43
    
Agreed! In retrospect your edit seems quite clear; I'm not sure why I didn't leave it at that. // Funny, somehow traditionally sounded quite natural to my ears as well: it was only when I thought about it that I agreed it was an inferior choice. Probably something with word-class patterns. –  Cerberus May 20 '11 at 1:02

Your Answer

 
discard

By posting your answer, you agree to the privacy policy and terms of service.

Not the answer you're looking for? Browse other questions tagged or ask your own question.