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What do you call a drink (usually an alcoholic one, say a long drink or a cocktail) that you don't want to have, because you consider it a low quality, disgusting mixture, maybe even of suspicious, unclear origins?

Infamous drinks like the sponge (drops of shots spilled on the counter all night, then collected with a sponge, squeezed into a glass and sold to the undemanding, or some poor homeless guys) could be an example here. Or your friend's first, experimental cocktail... :-)

Context: I want to reject a drink that I don't like, so I reply humorously and a bit sarcastically:

No, thanks. I don't want any of this ____?

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18  
A weird concoction? –  Dan Bron Aug 31 at 22:42
3  
Backwash. Shit. Bud Light. You really give up that quick? –  RegDwigнt Aug 31 at 22:55
2  
I was about to offer plonk, which is what I’d probably call it—but when I looked it up, I found that nearly all dictionary definitions define that as referring specifically to cheap, bad wine, rather than just any kind of crap booze. @CuriousGeorge, is your native language by any chance Scandinavian? I’m not sure what the Swedish or Norwegian equivalents are, but in Danish, what you mention would be called sprøjt, which does indeed mean ‘squirt/splash/splurt’. –  Janus Bahs Jacquet Aug 31 at 23:23
6  
I belive this is "almost, but not quite, entirely unlike tea":) –  belisarius Sep 1 at 16:04
3  
What's wrong with calling it "a disgusting mixture that I don't want to drink"? Sometimes I feel the craze to boil every little thing down to one word can make for a more difficult to understand sentence than just simply saying what you meant in a simple fashion. –  RobM Sep 2 at 22:11

12 Answers 12

Swill.

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/swill

swill noun. food for animals (such as pigs) made from scraps of food and water

food or drink that is very bad or unappealing

eg.

What is this swill?! I'm not drinking that!

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4  
This is the word I had in mind when I first read the question. Couldn't for the life of me think of it, so thank you! –  Janus Bahs Jacquet Sep 1 at 8:14

I'd typically call such a drink a a weird concoction. Per Merriam-Webster (via Google Definition):

concoction: a mixture of various ingredients or elements. synonyms: *mixture, brew, preparation, potion *

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2  
Most people probably know the word from Jimmy Buffet's classic "Margaritaville", which contains the line "That frozen concoction that helps me hang on." –  Reto Koradi Sep 1 at 1:01
16  
I don't think of concoction as having a negative tone by itself, though. Only in a context like What is that dreadful concoction? –  Tim S. Sep 1 at 16:39
    
I agree that it doesn't have the negative tone by itself, but it readily gets it in this context. –  GreenAsJade Sep 3 at 12:42
1  
For me, it just cries out to be called a vile concoction. –  Hellion Sep 3 at 16:15
    
The word concoction makes me think of a mad scientist in a castle's basement concocting some sort of volatile alchemical potion. –  Panzercrisis Sep 3 at 20:13

Slop: ( from TFD)

  • Unappetizing watery food or soup.

  • Often, slops. The dirty water or liquid refuse of a household.

Slop Monster : ( from The Urban dictionary)

  • When an otherwise sane, normal girl drinks too much alcohol and transforms into a stumbling, word slurring, wardrobe malfunctioning all around hot mess.

    • Please don't let me drink tequila tonight, unless you want the Slop Monster to rear its ugly head.
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+1 for slop, that's the first thing i thought of. it's a funny sounding word and gets the humor across without being particularly offensive. "i don't want any of that slop!" is definitely the kind of thing i would say if my friend made up a weird drink and was passing it around. –  sgroves Sep 3 at 18:55

No, thanks. I don't want any of this Muck

noun

filth, dirt, or slime.

Although muck doesn't specifically denote a drink, I think that in this context where you're looking for a humorous/sarcastic response it will do just fine.

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There have already been some great answers (I like swill), but I thought I'd offer you another option anyway: bilge water.

A bilge is the lowest part of a ship, below the water line. Water that washes up onto the ship's deck usually ends up down there, as well as other spills (detergents, oil, urine), etc. I'm sure you can imagine that it something you would not like to drink.

Bilge water needs to be pumped out from time to time, or on smaller or older vessels, may be removed using buckets.

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This is a nice link which also explains that bilge is slang for nonsense, rubbish, rot. lexicolatry.com/2013/06/bilge.html –  Mari-Lou A Sep 2 at 6:43
    
Bilge also builds up in aircraft (mostly by way of condensation and spillage), and very nasty stuff it is there, too (very corrosive). –  yankeekilo Sep 3 at 16:11

Depending on what shortcoming you are complaining about, your choice may vary. Here are a few ideas.

If you want to suggest they may be trying to poison you:

Witches' brew (dictionary.com)

a harmful or threatening mixture; diabolical concoction

hellbroth (dictionary.com)

a magical broth prepared for an evil purpose, as in black magic.

If you want to bring attention to the quality of the ingredients:

(like) dishwater (Cambridge Dictionaries Online)

describes a drink or liquid that is unpleasant because it contains too much water and has very little flavor

turpentine, paint thinner, or acetone
There are many byproducts of alcohol distillation, called congeners that enhance or undermine the flavor. A poorly distilled alcohol might have more of the most distasteful congeners than your best brands. Acetone is one of these congeners, and it may actually be added to denatured alcohol to make it undrinkable. Paint thinner and turpentine aren't actually congeners, but they say the same thing about the quality of the drink.

Ripple (The Sanford & Son Wiki, for nostalgic reasons)

Ripple was a fortified wine produced by E & J Gallo Winery Low end fortified wine that was popular in the United States, particularly in the 1970s. Possessing a relatively low 11% ABV, it was originally marketed to "casual" drinkers. Due to its low price, it had a reputation as a drink for alcoholics and the destitute.

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4  
"No thanks, I don't want any of this hellbroth" That's hilarious. –  BenjaminJB Sep 2 at 12:43
2  
these words are all funny, but i can't imagine someone saying any of them, really. that doesn't mean you shouldn't or can't, but they're just not common words/phrases. you might be met with a "huh?", especially if you're not a native speaker. –  sgroves Sep 3 at 18:57
    
@sgroves Unexpected words like these can lighten the mood of the remark, which I think was one of the requirements in the original question. I think words like swill and slop are too simplistic to be funny. (I guess if you're really drunk when you say them or hear them, they sound funny, but then everything is either funny or an insult.) If the mixologist has to pause and say "Huh? WTF did you say?" then it cuts the edge off the insult for a moment. –  Canis Lupus Sep 3 at 19:35

For some reason, the first word that came to my mind is sludge. It's not an exact fit, but it might be, depending on the drink in question...

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2  
sludge might be cool depending on the consistency of the drink. Sludge represents something thick, maybe even chunky.. –  stephenbayer Sep 2 at 17:42

A simple word would be just "thing"

You know it's a beverage (well, something you drink instead of eat), you know it's supposed to be edible. Calling it "thing" implies that you find it alien, weird and generally not your flavor.

Or, just refer to it as a glass of nope, courtesy of Nopeville

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"Swill" would be my choice for the best answer, but dreck was something that immediately came to my mind.

"I'm not drinking that dreck!"

For what it's worth "dreck" even sounds like "drink" so perhaps has a little more "literary flair". :)

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I don't want any of this gloop!

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1  
I'd say that gloop might imply an unwarranted viscosity. –  tobyink Sep 3 at 11:54
    
@tobyink: Granted, but it adds a certain poetry that I think works well whether the liquid is actually viscous or not. A bit like how saying "I'm not drinking that piss!" doesn't mean the drink is actually urine. –  Lightness Races in Orbit Sep 3 at 12:05

There's a few drinks named for either an indiscriminate mixing of drinks or else a term for leftovers at the bar.

The term for an indiscriminate mixture varies by your locale, but it might be called either a graveyard or a suicide. Though note that these usually refer to a mixture of every fountain drink at a restaurant.

For leftovers, you mention the sponge shot, but there's also the mat shot, where the bar mat that has been accumulating spilled drinks in the process of mixing all night is drained. This is also regionally known as either an LA Freeway or a New Jersey Turnpike. To me these have the sense of either the various drek accumulated on the road from all the drivers, or maybe the result of a multi-car pileup on the road.

Besides that, there's the term Fallen Soldier which is a term for leftover nearly drained drinks (usually with some quantity of backwash).

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You might refer to the drink as grog, although that may be a more meaningful term when your audience has some military experience. The grog bowl is traditionally found at formal military dinner/social events, and the drink in the grog bowl is usually intended to provoke the disgusted reaction you describe by design.

From Wikipedia:

At some mess nights, violators of the mess are obliged to publicly drink from a grog bowl in front of the mess attendees. The grog is sometimes contained in a toilet bowl, consisting of various alcoholic beverages mixed together. As a more disgusting effect, the grog may also contain floating solids, such as meatballs, raw oysters, or Tootsie Rolls. The tradition of drinking grog originated with the British Navy. Grog consisted of the regulation rum ration diluted with water to discourage binge drinking. In modern times, grog comes in two varieties: alcoholic and non-alcoholic, the latter of which may contain anything that will make it less appealing to the taste, including hot sauce. For additional effect, the drinker may be required to drink from a boot.

Another informative article explains the grog bowl by saying:

What is the grog bowl? The main interest at a dining-in is the grog bowl. Plenty of different liquid ingredients are added to the grog bowl, and ultimately, a less than appetizing drink is made. It may look unsavory, but it is not undrinkable.

Dictionaries don't seem to make mention of that meaning, though, so my suggested answer here is admittedly of limited use. Macmillan makes grog sound a little tasty (“an alcoholic drink made with rum, water, sugar, and lemon juice, often served hot”); Collins describes it as “diluted,” though not necessarily unsavory or disgusting.

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