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Here is a sentence which doesn't really sound grammatically correct. I would appreciate if any one can have a look and let me know if the sentence could be improved.

After all, when someone spends a quality amount of money, he would want every penny spent to count

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closed as off-topic by tchrist, Mr. Shiny and New 安宇, Jim, StoneyB, RegDwigнt Jul 9 at 18:50

This question appears to be off-topic. The users who voted to close gave this specific reason:

  • "Proofreading questions are off-topic unless a specific source of concern in the text is clearly identified." – Mr. Shiny and New 安宇, Jim, StoneyB, RegDwigнt
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With the correction, it's fine syntactically; but what is a "quality amount" of money? –  StoneyB Jul 9 at 17:50
1  
Yup. There's nothing wrong with it now. Let's delete it. –  John Lawler Jul 9 at 17:51
    
@StoneyB can u suggest an alternate way to re write the sentence... –  iJay Jul 9 at 17:55
    
I could if I knew what you mean by a quality amount. –  StoneyB Jul 9 at 18:17
    
@StoneyB what I intended was a large amount of money –  iJay Jul 9 at 18:31

2 Answers 2

up vote 1 down vote accepted

Suggested correction:

After all, when someone spends a large amount of money, they usually expect every penny to count.

The most irregular part of your sentence as submitted was "quality amount of money". I've introduced a singular "they" which others may disagree with, but certainly sounds like Standard American English.

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I am not sure about the helping verb "would". Doesn't the usage of "would" create the subjunctive mood? If so, then "when" should be "if"?

If "when" is not changed, then with regard to intended meaning, "would" should be "should". Or, I'd just delete the "would". The meaning does not change, the sentence becomes shorter, and the sentence sounds more crisp.

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