How does one write the name of a married female and spouse in a list of classmates?

Question

In a list of classmates, how is the name of a married female and spouse listed? Is the female given name or her husband's given name written first? How is the maiden name shown?

Answer 1

One term sometimes used is the French word 'née' (meaning 'born', literally, but referring to the maiden name in this context). Hence:

Mrs Jane Smith (née Jones)
Mrs Cynthia Corning (née Stratton-Longbottom)

Etc.

I'm not sure whether 'Mrs' or 'Ms' is preferred when the context clearly shows that the lady is married. I'm old-fashioned enough to think it should be 'Mrs', but modern style might use 'Ms'. The referenced URL did not place brackets around the maiden name.

Also, in a list of classmates, the spouses would not not normally be given - the spouses were not, in general, part of the class. However, if you are listing the people invited to an event, you can decide how to display both the names of those invited and the names that would have been known when they were in the class. For example, you might have two columns, for example, the first listing one the 'Emily Post' approved forms, and the second listing the name that would have been used in class. That might be too arid for the context in which the list is to be used, though. You might list the class member's name, and then their spouse's name, if applicable:

Mrs Jane Smith (née Jones) and Mr John Smith
Mr Adam O'Hare and Mrs Susan O'Hare

This isn't the normal presentation, but the important information here is presumably the person who was in the class, and this shows that Jane Jones and Adam O'Hare were in the class but both are married. It is self-consistent as presented, but you might omit the first "O'Hare", I suppose.

Answer 2

The Emily Post Institute recognizes the following forms:

Ms. Jane Smith and Mr. John Smith
Jane and John Smith (informal)
Ms. Jane Johnson and Mr. John Smith
Drs. Jane and John Smith

Note that there is no informal form if the female uses her maiden name and that you should always use Ms. unless you know that Mrs. is preferred.

Also, the Emily Post Institute gives no formal guidance on whether or not to use the maiden name—however, it seems from various examples on their site that the husband's last name is preferred unless the wife has indicated otherwise.

Answer 3

What my school tends to do is include the woman's name, name she went by in school, graduation year (just to make sure the reader understands which one is the former student), and then the spouse's name. Eg:

Ms. Jane Smith (née Jones, '85) and Mr John Smith.

Another form I see them use is to insert the "Maiden name" right before the current last name. Eg:

Ms. Jane Jones Smith ('85) and Mr. John Smith

Here's some entries from my alma-mater's actual yearly report:

James ’76 & Jill Jones ’76 Deck

Michael & Cara Shimkus ’84 Hall

In the first instance, it appears both husband and wife were students (probably a really sweet story there...), and in the second, just the wife.