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For example, someone who just turned 21 and is prone to hurt others, might visit bars more often which would increase his probability of getting arrested for assault.

Do I need to add more commas or put brackets maybe? I hope my sentence makes sense.

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3 Answers 3

Finding the most appropriate places to put commas is usually easier when you trim the sentence down and then slowly add the missing pieces back:

For example, someone who just turned 21 and is prone to hurt others, might visit bars more often which would increase his probability of getting arrested for assault.

The smallest form of this sentence:

Someone who just turned 21 might visit bars.

"More often" does not need a comma, so it can be added first:

Someone who just turned 21 might visit bars more often.

The easiest next additions:

For example, someone who just turned 21, and is prone to hurt others, might visit bars more often.

The final piece is the "which ...":

For example, someone who just turned 21, and is prone to hurt others, might visit bars more often, which would increase his probability of getting arrested for assault.

Comma usage is somewhat flexible, however, and a sentence of this complexity is usually split into more than one sentence or has some of the more optional commas removed:

For example, someone who just turned 21 and is prone to hurt others might visit bars more often, which would increase his probability of getting arrested for assault.

For example, someone who just turned 21, and is prone to hurt others, might visit bars more often — which would increase his probability of getting arrested for assault.

For example, someone who just turned 21, and is prone to hurt others, might visit bars more often. This would increase his probability of getting arrested for assault.

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Shouldn't the dash go before which in your second alternative? –  Bradd Szonye Mar 26 at 0:06
    
@BraddSzonye: Yes, thank you. Fixed. –  MrHen Mar 26 at 0:49

I'd write: someone, who's just turned 21 and is prone to hurt others, might visit bars more often, which would increase his probability of getting arrested for assault.

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I'd remove the comma after "others" and put one in after "often". I don't like "his probability", and would re-write as "the probability of his"

For example, someone who [has] just turned 21 and is prone to hurt others might visit bars more often, which would increase the probability of his getting arrested for assault.

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