As I see it both can be correct:
- Try not (to wake her by talking too loud).
- (Try not to wake her) by talking quietly.
I'm not sure which one a native speaker would use. Any preferences?
As I see it both can be correct:
I'm not sure which one a native speaker would use. Any preferences?
Both are equally grammatical, and for what it's worth equally unlikely.
First off, I submit that wake up is more likely to occur than just wake, but that can depend on where in the world the conversation is taking place.
Secondly and more to the point, what's much more likely to be produced than either of your options is a simple "don't wake her up", which to any sufficiently smart interlocutor clearly implies not shouting, or a more explicit "lower your voice(s)" for those who are not quite that bright.
To answer your question, a native speaker would prefer the first example, "Try not to wake her by (as a result of) talking too loud." Although native speakers will understand what you mean in the second example, the implication is that you would wake someone as a result of talking quietly, which is implausible. That being said, there are better alternatives. As mentioned by RegDwigHt, "Don't wake her up" expresses the sentiment you want. Unless, you want to specify that she may be woken up by other means, for example, jumping on her.