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I am writing a contemporary theatre play where one character - a senior businessman - first introduces himself as a not particularly conservative person. Later in the play, his protégé finds that the businessman is in fact deeply conservative and wants to express his anger over the deception. I'm therefore looking for a british word that can insult Tories or conservative persons in general, emphasising that it is the conservativeness that the insulter takes objection of.

I started with "Twit", which might remind of Monty Python's "Upper Class Twit of the Year", but I have the feeling, that this is not a particularly strong insult these days. Since I'm not a native speaker, I have trouble in general estimating the strength of insults.

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I forgot to say, yes, it is contemporary. How about strengthening "Twit" to "F**ing twit"? – Turion Feb 13 '14 at 11:17
Oh, that's good, and "twat" is popular, too. I believe it is much more offensive in the US, but in the UK I'd consider it almost tame. You should watch the TV series "In the thick of it". It's on YouTube. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Thick_of_It – Mari-Lou A Feb 13 '14 at 11:20
Wow, what an offensive question. You froward folly-fallen coxcomb! – RegDwigнt Feb 13 '14 at 12:34
@RegDwigнt: I never noticed this question before. I'm astonished it's survived. How long do you suppose How to insult a Christian/Muslim/religious Jew (or people holding a theistic viewpoint in general)? would last? – FumbleFingers Feb 28 '14 at 3:55
up vote 8 down vote accepted

You could of course just stick Tory in front of a more general insult of whatever degree of forcefulness you desire, from "Tory twit" through "Tory bastard" and "Tory fucker" to "Tory cunt".

If your character leans quite a bit to the left, then they might well abuse the term "fascist" as an insult for a Tory. If your character leant further to the left, they might even earnestly consider your Tory character to be a fascist.

Or you could stack a variety of terms about views more likely to be held by Tories than someone further left, in the opinion of someone on the left, (traditionally at least, some of the following could be said as easily about New Labour); "war-mongering, profiteering, granny-starving, gay-bashing, women-hating, racist fear-mongering, Tory fucker".

Or if it's the 17th Century, you could just use Tory (the word is originally an insult).

Edit: Mari-Lou's comment made me think of a more specific and subtler insult, which is "Disgusted of Tubridge-Wells".

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Or add something about being a "Daily Telegraph reader" but I wouldn't know how to phrase it. (Top notch answer btw) – Mari-Lou A Feb 13 '14 at 11:18
"F*ing profiteering Daily-Telegraph-reading Tory twit!", or something like that. I'm getting there I guess. Maybe I'll leave a footnote for the actors to optionally "upgrade" to "Tory bastard". – Turion Feb 13 '14 at 11:24
@Mari-LouA "Daily Telegraph reader" can certainly be taken as such an insult, with "Daily Mail reader" being a stronger insult with a stronger degree of credulity and knee-jerk reaction implied; strong enough that even many Conservatives would consider it an insult on its own (not all Tories are so mentally benighted as to think the Daily Mail has anything but the most tenuous connection to reality). You've also made me think of another one to add. – Jon Hanna Feb 13 '14 at 11:26
I'd say rather than having a footnote suggesting actors increase the degree of venom, write at the degree you are aiming at, and let the director choose to tone it down if they think it necessary for their audience. Certainly, I would't be surprised at hearing much stronger language than bastard in the theatre. – Jon Hanna Feb 13 '14 at 11:33

You could considering using an insult generator.

You could adapt Eric Heffer's description of the Tory government:

They are nothing else but a load kippers - two-faced, with no guts.

The two-faced chiming in with the businessman's earlier attempts at appearing different from what he really is.

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How about comparison: He's so far right-wing he makes Margaret Thatcher look like a Liberal.

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Call him a liberal. There is no worse insult.

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In which country? – user867 Feb 28 '14 at 3:01
This answer should be elaborated upon or deleted. – David M Feb 28 '14 at 4:29
That insult might be more suitably directed at the protégé himself if he were an American. In the UK however, the Liberals are allies of the Conservatives, and their leader Nick Clegg is deputy Prime minister. – Mari-Lou A Feb 28 '14 at 8:55
Mari-Lou A, not quite. That's the Liberal Democrats. Liberals have a different, political party which is not connected to the coalition government of Conservatives and Liberal Democrats that came to power in 2010. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Liberal_Party_(UK,_1989) – Tristan r Jun 6 '14 at 13:54

Winston Churchill said, 'Liberalism is the purest form of Conservatism

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Yes, but he was trying to insult the Liberal party. – Chenmunka Jun 6 '14 at 14:45

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