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I'm writing an email to an angel investor I met recently.

The context is:

Hi John,

Pleasure to briefly meet you at the ... event last Thursday. I'm Alec who enquired about the best way of taking my iPhone app, ..., to market.

The "I'm Alec who" feels clunky. How can this be better put?

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This question appears to be off-topic because it is about how to phrase a sentence and not about the particulars of English language. –  KitFox Aug 27 '13 at 17:50
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One would think that "phrasing sentences" would be pertinent to English "particulars". It's getting so that it's frightening to post for fear of being nitpicked to death. –  Abraxas Aug 27 '13 at 18:16
    
@KitFox One would think "how to phrase a sentence" falls pretty squarely under "English Language & Usage". –  Alec Aug 28 '13 at 16:36
    
@Alec "How to phrase a sentence" equally applies to any language and is not particular to English. If you have specific questions about English phrasing, that's on-topic, but "How can I say this better?" is both entirely subjective and off-topic. –  KitFox Aug 28 '13 at 18:01
    
@KitFox The title of this stackexchange and the language of my question very obviously imply I'm asking "how to phrase a sentence" in English. If I wanted to phrase it in any other language, the translation of "I'm Alec who" may not sound clunky. Regardless, the answer no doubt differs based on language. This question is of course particular to English. –  Alec Aug 29 '13 at 18:37
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closed as off-topic by tchrist, KitFox Aug 27 '13 at 17:50

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2 Answers

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I'm Alec who enquired about the best way of taking my iPhone app...

Could become:

I'm Alec, the person who enquired about the best way of taking my iPhone app...

This clarifies that he, Alec, is (the person) who enquired.

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Yes, the comma is very helpful. Though perhaps not strictly "correct", I think commas are often underused when they could clarify things, or just indicate a pause in speech. (But the "to briefly meet" split infinitive seems horribly awkward to me.) –  Abraxas Aug 27 '13 at 18:13
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What about something more like:

Hi John,

It was a pleasure to briefly meet you at the ... event last Thursday. We discussed the available options for taking my iPhone app, ..., to the market.

If you have a moment for further discussion, ...

--

Alec Lastname

I added the third line to give the option of extending the question further, but would consider it optional as you didn't have anything similar in your post. This also seemed like a more business/formal discussion so I push the formatting in that direction.

Edit:

I'm assuming that this is an email correspondence. In that case modern email clients will display your name in the from field, so it isn't necessary to put it again in the body.

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Is it "to the market" or "to market"? Or maybe: "marketing my iPhone app"? –  dcaswell Aug 27 '13 at 17:03
2  
Really, any of the three could work, depending on context. In the case of an iPhone app I would consider it "the market" because there is only one app store. In the case of taking a more universal product "to market" you are probably selling it in multiple places. Marketing means advertising, which is not the same as "taking to (the) market". –  Jacobm001 Aug 27 '13 at 17:06
    
I was just about to post an answer about not needing to use your name in the body of the email just for that fact. –  hafichuk Aug 27 '13 at 17:07
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While a signoff name is not always essential in an email, many of our email names are avatar-like rather than literal. In corresponding with a new acquaintance, it is common to sign off with your full name and contact info beyond your email address. –  bib Aug 27 '13 at 17:20
    
@bib: That is correct, which is why I added a signature. However in your business email I would expect that your settings are setup in a way that it registers your full name with an account. All that information gets included in the header and is included in the mail client's "from field". –  Jacobm001 Aug 27 '13 at 17:22
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