The idiom you mentioned exists in several regional variations. Google has more results for Φωνάζει ο κλέφτης για να φοβηθεί ο νοικοκύρης. That's the "nationwide" version, presumably because it was the title of a major Greek film from the 50ies. It's also the version your friend must have had in mind.
The difference between variations is the second verb, which can get a lot more threatening than just "frighten" (φοβηθεί). I mention that because it corroborates the second interpretation your friend gave you. As I know the idiom, the thief isn't just making a huge fuss, he is actively trying to portray his victim as the perpetrator (a quick search for usage in current Greek papers agrees with that).
It is not a pot/kettle situation: κλέφτης and νοικοκύρης mean thief and house owner respectively, but each word comes with a broader meaning that extends to character. I won't bother you with semantic categories, but νοικοκύρης implies a reliable and honest person (it's a old-fashioned, but it is still possible to use νοικοκύρης as the equivalent of "decent") whereas κλέφτης is a trickster with no redeeming qualities.
I don't know one English (or other language, for that matter) expression that conveys the crucial point, which is the perpetrator blaming the victim.