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Is this sentence grammatically correct?

It seems to me that, since many of the speakers are in high-demand, some of them may not stay for the entire conference.

As I understand it, if we remove the comma delimited clause, the sentence should still read OK.

It seems to me that ... some of them may not stay for the entire conference.

It does read OK, but what "them" refers to is no longer specified. Does this matter or do I need to be explicit (and repetitive)?

It seems to me that, since many of the speakers are in high-demand, some of the speakers may not stay for the entire conference.

Or is it better to remove the duplication by forward referencing the speakers:

It seems to me that, since many are in high-demand, some of the speakers may not stay for the entire conference.

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I often use dashes in the place of commas (It seems to me that - since many are in high demand - some of the speakers...) because I don't really like the way that commas look. But I don't think that's a proper answer; I'm interested to see what the experts say. –  Marcus_33 May 20 '13 at 14:45

1 Answer 1

I'm not certain that the first comma is necessary. Reading it aloud, I don't pause even slightly between "that" and "since". I believe it would be most valid as:

It seems to me that since many of the speakers are in high-demand, some of them may not stay for the entire conference.

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Commas aren't just about pauses. The rules are more complex than that. –  aetheria May 26 '13 at 9:03
    
That's certainly true. However, the rules aren't always so hard and fast. Some may say that "It seems to me that" requires a comma by virtue of it being a clause with more than three words in it, but I think many will disagree. Do you think that the sentence as I constructed it is incorrect (explaining your downvote)? –  Scott Gress May 26 '13 at 16:11
    
I hope you weren't offended by the downvote. I downvoted because it didn't answer the intended topic of my question, but started to take things off in a different direction, and I didn't want other viewers to think the question had been answered. –  aetheria May 29 '13 at 19:11

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