Mark is crying, sitting in the middle of the hall.
Mark is sitting in the middle of the hall and crying.
I know both sentences are grammatically correct. But which is good for creative writing?
closed as off topic by Kris, tchrist, MετάEd, Andrew Leach♦, RegDwigнt♦ May 4 '13 at 0:52
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Neither sentence reads particularly well. In the first sentence, the run-on “sitting in the middle of the hall” sounds like a tacked-on afterthought. The second is verbose (due to its present progressive verb forms) and flat.
You might consider forms like