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Is it possible and good English to start a sentence with 'When reading...'?

Exactly it's about the following one:

When reading your offer it seemed to me as if this position is made for me.

bg, Johannes

P.S.: If you have any other things to say about this sentence, I'm always open for corrections and tips.

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It's not incorrect but it's not natural English. "When driving, pay attention to the road" is much better written as "Pay attention to the road when driving". –  TheMathemagician Mar 6 '13 at 17:31
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And your sentence has many other problems. "It seemed to me" is flowery (who else would it seem to) and "as if" should be used for hypothetical situations and the passive "is made for me" is awkward too. In business English I'd write something like: "The position described in your offer seems ideal/perfect/tailor-made for me." –  TheMathemagician Mar 6 '13 at 17:36
    
@TheMathemagician: thank you, I think I will change my sentence that way. –  Johannes Mar 6 '13 at 21:57
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3 Answers

up vote 2 down vote accepted

It does sound a little funny. Something more along these lines might be better:

  • While I was reading your offer, it seemed as though this position were made for me.
  • As I was reading your offer, it seemed like this position had been made for me.
  • As I read your offer, it occurred to me that this position seemed made for me.
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That sentence, “When reading your offer it seemed to me as if this position is made for me”, is afflicted with a mild case of dangling modifier. The notion is that applying the modifier “When reading your offer” to the subject of the sentence (it) doesn't make sense. (Note, it is a dummy pronoun in the sentence.) The rewordings given previously avoid the problem. The wikipedia article suggests that opinions differ on the importance of avoiding dangling modifiers.

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I would go with:

"Your offer makes clear that this position is for me."

The word "seemed" is stylistically week.

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