Take the 2-minute tour ×
English Language & Usage Stack Exchange is a question and answer site for linguists, etymologists, and serious English language enthusiasts. It's 100% free, no registration required.

A friend of mine (a non-native speaker of English) has asked me to check her CV and I'm afraid / ashamed to say, I'm having trouble.

Are there too many "and"s in the given sentence? It seems OK to me, but I've always heard we shouldn't use so many in one sentence. Here it is:

I help individuals, schools and organisations to provide special needs care, care training and home audits by providing training classes, carer evaluations and other care-based educational services.

There are many sentences that look similar. Again, they all look OK to me, but this is at odds with what I learned in school. All I could find on the subject was the "Oxford comma", which doesn't seem to be the problem here.

They tend to follow this pattern:

I work with x, y and z to provide x, y and z.

share|improve this question
3  
I would suggest using "care-giver" instead of "carer". Also, I'd say "schools and other organizations" since schools are organizations. Lastly, I'd say "provide" rather than "to provide". –  David Schwartz Feb 10 '13 at 10:11
    
@David Schwartz: I'm glad you caught that one. I obviously misunderstood what the OP meant by "carer". Thank you. –  user21497 Feb 10 '13 at 11:47
1  
@DavidSchwartz: Isn't "carer" or "caregiver" dependent on the locale? In the UK, "carer" is correct. According to my (British) English Dictionary, "caregiver" is a North American term? –  w3d Feb 10 '13 at 14:51
    
@David Schwartz: Thanks for the quick response. I think "carer" is acceptable in British English and I believe "help" can be used with to-infinitives and bare-infinitives. Although many Americans seem to prefer "help" with a bare-infinitive. –  user37373 Feb 10 '13 at 15:48
1  
@W3D: The PubMed search engine. –  user21497 Feb 11 '13 at 0:17
show 3 more comments

2 Answers

I don't think that there are too many "and"s in the sentence, but perhaps one of the "provide"s can be changed to "offer", e.g.:

I help individuals, schools, and organisations offer special needs care, care training, and home audits by {providing / giving [CHOOSE ONE]} training classes, caregiver evaluations, and other care-based educational services.

or

I help individuals, schools, and organisations provide special needs care, care training, and home audits: I {give / conduct [CHOOSE ONE]} training classes, caregiver evaluations, and other care-based educational services.

I like the Oxford comma, but it's not necessary. [EDIT]: It's necessary to change "carer" to "caregiver", as David Schwartz suggests in his comment above, though. I misunderstood what you meant by that word "carer" (thought it was supposed to be "career") and offered bad advice about spelling it correctly. People who provide care are normally called "caregivers" in the biomedical world.

If your friend is going to provide lists, there will almost always be a need for an "and" in the list. As long as the "and" isn't used to conjoin separate sentences (e.g., I ate and apple, and I drank a cup of coffee, and then I watched TV, and I fell asleep during the program, and then I went to bed), there should be no problem.

OTOH, if all the sentences have the same syntactic structure, then the CV will be boring.

If the sentences are in the cover letter, then they should have more varied structures. If they're in the CV proper, then don't have to be complete sentences but can be something like this:

Give training classes, caregiver evaluations, and other care-based educational services.

Help individuals, schools, and organisations offer special needs care, care training, and home audits.

Etc.

share|improve this answer
    
Thank you for your response. I'm convinced that the "and"s can stay. I will take the rest into consideration too. Thank you. –  user37373 Feb 10 '13 at 15:53
2  
As stated in other comments, carer is absolutely correct in British English. –  Andrew Leach Feb 10 '13 at 17:44
    
@Andrew: Yes, it is, but it's still unfortunate. See my comment above. "Correct" isn't always "good". –  user21497 Feb 10 '13 at 22:24
    
I've never seen carer confused with career before. Perhaps that's because I'm more used to seeing carer than "care-giver" (which I haven't encountered frequently at all despite some association with caring environments), but it's usually unambiguous in context. –  Andrew Leach Feb 11 '13 at 8:54
    
@Andrew: I can understand that. I've never seen "carer" before. Even in context here it rang no bell. It's a word that should be written only (it sounds not euphonious to my ears). I've seen "rarer", potato "parer", & secret "sharer"; I've heard "barer" & "darer" (jocular with "daree"); & I've been reading biomed articles in British & American & European journals every day for 16 years: "carer" = "no-see-um". If you're used to seeing & hearing a word & know the meaning, then it's always more present for you than for someone not used to it. –  user21497 Feb 11 '13 at 9:45
add comment

"I help individuals, schools and organisations to provide special needs care, care training and home audits by providing training classes, carer evaluations and other care-based educational services." (in a way you have repeated yourself here by mentioning 'training classes' and 'care training')

Service provider,(in this context it means you are providing a service to do with anything concerning the said job in hand and not meaning internet service provider)

As a service provider, I help in providing special needs care and home audit packages which include training classes/courses, carer evaluation and other care-based educational services to individuals, schools and organisastions.

share|improve this answer
    
Thank you for pointing that out. Am I to assume then, from your "correction", that the answer to the original question is: there are not too many "and"s? –  user37373 Feb 10 '13 at 19:39
add comment

Your Answer

 
discard

By posting your answer, you agree to the privacy policy and terms of service.

Not the answer you're looking for? Browse other questions tagged or ask your own question.