Is a sentence “Shitty coffee a day than a joyful chai hence saves your money” grammatically correct?

Question

I'm trying to write a sentence that sounds like Shakespeare, a sentence that means "If you drink a shitty coffee instead of a nice chai, then you can save money".

Does the sentence "Shitty coffee a day instead of a joyful chai hence saves you money" have the same meaning as the above, and is it grammatically correct?

Answer 1

Five feet of iambs always gives a Bardian air to text. How about this pentameter?

'twill swell the purse to toss the tea for mud.

But, to answer your question rather than merely supplant its suggestion, I would agree that your new sentence does have the same meaning. It is not, however, grammatically correct. We would not say, "apple a day" (and nor would Shakespeare); it would be "An apple" or "A shitty coffee." Also, it would be "rather than" instead of "than" and "hence" is not necessary (indeed, it merely interrupts the flow of the sentence). I realize you've made these substitutions/elisions to achieve an effect, but if I were you I'd focus on keeping grammatically pure while choosing a meter (pattern of accented syllables) that best mimics Shakespeare's typical verse (hence the suggestion above and the link to iambic pentameter).

Good luck!

Answer 2

Perhaps you should consider

Forsaking toothsome chai and swilling coffee from the trough doth add a pretty penny to my purse.