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Does the punctuation in the following sentence make sense?

John is popular among clients, as well as the management who have been very pleased with his work.

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closed as not constructive by Matt Эллен, Robusto, J.R., FumbleFingers, tchrist Feb 9 '13 at 14:01

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You mean the clients aren't very pleased with what he does, but the management are? Does he fleece the clients for unnecessary work? –  Andrew Leach Jan 29 '13 at 10:06
    
Although only management has been pleased with John's work, he is nevertheless popular among clients. It's an awkward sentence, though, it that it's inherently hard to understand why he is popular among clients if they are not happy with his work. –  J.R. Jan 29 '13 at 10:09
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In this particular case, using two sentences is probably well justified: John is popular with the management, who have been very pleased with his work. He is also (understandably) popular with / well thought of by the / his clients. –  Edwin Ashworth Jan 29 '13 at 10:19
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I think this question is too narrow in scope. Can you find a way to make it be helpful to more people? –  Matt Эллен Jan 29 '13 at 10:29
    
@Matt: My first thought was to agree with you, because the "valid" interpretation as punctuated would be unlikely in the real world. But actually I suspect OP knows this perfectly well, and has simply posed the question as a peeve/vexatious invitation to Non-Constructive discussion. –  FumbleFingers Jan 29 '13 at 22:51

1 Answer 1

Yes, it makes sense, but you need a second comma before who, because what follows is a supplementary, rather than an integrated, relative clause. That is to say, it provides additional information about the management, rather than defining them.

However, you might like to consider whether it would be clearer like this:

John is popular with the management, and they have been very pleased with his work. He’s popular with clients, too.

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I like your approach, although I'd probably use a different word in place of "popular" when talking about management, because this seems like two different kinds of popularity (one group pleased with his work, the other enjoying his personality). Perhaps "John is well-regarded by management..." –  J.R. Jan 29 '13 at 10:39
    
Yes, that makes it difficult for outsiders to advise. Only those familiar with the situation know what they want to say. –  Barrie England Jan 29 '13 at 10:42
    
I agree that I'm walking through the weeds of speculation here. –  J.R. Jan 29 '13 at 10:49

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